King David Sings the Blues

This guy David who wrote all those Psalms, he’s pretty outrageous. He wrote some good, accessible stuff that would (does!) get airplay on your Christian radio station, but an awful lot of it wouldn’t (doesn't!) make it on the air in our day. It’s just too dark...

I do love happy things – inspiring songs, sentimental movies, Christmas music, the lights and warmth and peace on earth, goodwill to men that all come up this time of year. I’m not out there looking for stories or jokes about things that are crude or ugly or terrifying in the mistaken belief that those things are what’s “real.” In fact, I’m HUNGRY for mercy, wholesomeness and sincerity, and often find them in short supply in a world of cynicism, sarcasm, and venom.

The choir at the mega-church on the hill behind my house is working hard to prepare for their Christmas show, called “Love Has Come.” I can’t think of three syllables that sound like better news than that.

But you know, I tend not to know what to do with my darker feelings: self-pity, jealousy, resentment, pride, anger, blame, scorn, condemnation. What do you do when you see those things in your heart, when you recognize that you are your own worst enemy? The more I see how unfair and irrational my negative emotions are, the more upset I get about being upset, and then tend to take that out on other people.

So for me, I think part of growing up would be to mellow out, to face and re-wire my reactions to the thing that really push my buttons. I do have solid instincts, and I need to be able to trust them and listen to them without making them the last word – so I can’t just shut down or pull back. Is it really possible to be passionate and articulate without going around wreaking havoc and destruction? I believe it is, even if I don’t know how to do that consistently. Oooh, I know the answers are simple, and largely untried or unpracticed: prayer, surrender, humility, healing, being filled with the Spirit! I need to camp out in Colossians 3 a bit more.

Meanwhile, we have the psalms. They give me a vocabulary for pain and struggle. Boy did that David know how to sing the blues! No. 69 is one of his songs that puts our far smaller struggles into perspective, while giving us the words and go-ahead to complain and cry out to God when this is how we feel. Although I can’t quite do it without laughing, so maybe that’s a sign that that I’m not so bad off after all. (Really… “Woe is me! Those who hate me for no reason outnumber the hairs on my head!”)

How does this psalm strike you? Anything grab you?

1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.

2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.

3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.

4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.

5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.

6 May those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me,
O Lord, the LORD Almighty;
may those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel.

7 For I endure scorn for your sake,
and shame covers my face.

8 I am a stranger to my brothers,
an alien to my own mother's sons;

9 for zeal for your house consumes me,
and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.

10 When I weep and fast,
I must endure scorn;

11 when I put on sackcloth,
people make sport of me.

12 Those who sit at the gate mock me,
and I am the song of the drunkards.

13 But I pray to you, O LORD,
in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God,
answer me with your sure salvation.

14 Rescue me from the mire,
do not let me sink;
deliver me from those who hate me,
from the deep waters.

15 Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
or the depths swallow me up
or the pit close its mouth over me.

16 Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love;
in your great mercy turn to me.

17 Do not hide your face from your servant;
answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.

18 Come near and rescue me;
redeem me because of my foes.

19 You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed;
all my enemies are before you.

20 Scorn has broken my heart
and has left me helpless;
I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
for comforters, but I found none.

21 They put gall in my food
and gave me vinegar for my thirst.

22 May the table set before them become a snare;
may it become retribution and ^[a] a trap.

23 May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see,
and their backs be bent forever.

24 Pour out your wrath on them;
let your fierce anger overtake them.

25 May their place be deserted;
let there be no one to dwell in their tents.

26 For they persecute those you wound
and talk about the pain of those you hurt.

27 Charge them with crime upon crime;
do not let them share in your salvation.

28 May they be blotted out of the book of life
and not be listed with the righteous.

29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me.

30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.

31 This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.

32 The poor will see and be glad—
you who seek God, may your hearts live!

33 The LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his captive people.

34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and all that move in them,

35 for God will save Zion
and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;

36 the children of his servants will inherit it,
and those who love his name will dwell there.