Staying Warm, Keeping Cool, and a Word from Shel Silverstein

What’s Hot and What’s Not

When I first heard a younger, hipper friend mention attending an “ugly Christmas sweater party” I was surprised. I did not realize there was a such a thing. Are there “fabulous Christmas sweaters”? There may be. They would probably be made of cashmere or trimmed with angora or something.

But in perusing the ads and the streets I realize the purchase and wearing of Christmas “novelty” sweaters outside such an event seems mostly limited to women my age and older, and the not-so-fashionable ones, at that. When you have something you only get wear once or twice a week for a few weeks of the year, it doesn’t wear out very fast, so the not-so-fashionable, not-so-young, not-so-rich types like me may not think of getting rid of it. Perfectly good sweater, one would think.

However, I’ve seen the other side, and I have to say: ladies, the day of the Christmas sweater seems to be over. If you love your Christmas sweater, fine, but realize the younger, cooler people in your life may respect you less for it. Unless you take it to their ugly Christmas sweater party. 

I’m trying to decide if I care. I don’t interact with the young and cool as much as I did when I was part of a college-and-career group, a few years back, though there are times when how I dress could matter in terms of how I’m received and how effective I am in my work and ministry. So it’s not completely meaningless, not solely a matter of vanity or personal choice.

I do have one Christmas sweater. Well, it could just be a winter sweater, as its only adornment is a pattern of white snowflakes. But the sweater itself is red, so I think it’s a Christmas sweater. I don’t think it would even “place” if I wore it in an ugly Christmas sweater contest, but I’m not sure I understand the criteria.

Sweater Envy

Back in the day when novelty sweaters (and vests, and jumpers, and jean jackets, sweatshirts, and embroidered denim shirts) were all the rage, I was torn between wanting one (or more) and realizing they were (even then) quite a poor investment. Some were topical (related to your hobby or profession, for example) but many were seasonal, and therefore only appropriate for a small portion of the year. And of course they were not solid colors: they all had “stuff” on them, and generally should only be worn with solids, not prints (though, there’s a rule that may have gone by the wayside as well).

Flash back with me to the autumn of 1994. I was not long out of college and neither pursuing a career nor yet in full-time Christian ministry, just heading in that direction. I was just starting to raise support. Money was tight. A long, expensive trip overseas to try things out with the ministry I ended up joining had left me almost penniless. And here were all these women at church with their new sweaters.

I thought: Voluntary poverty has a lot of appeal and I don’t find fund-raising humiliating, like some people do, but as long as I’m living here in suburbia it seems kind of unfair that I can’t have a new sweater this year. JUST ONE. Something with a bit of style, not just a plain pullover, but still versatile and practical.

My parents were the answer to my vain wish, though I don’t remember if I expressed it, or not. (Knowing me, I probably did). At any rate my stepmom and mom each gave me a nice sweater that fall. One, a hand-me-down, the other, a birthday gift. They didn’t have leaves or apples on them, nor snowmen and Santas – they were just nice cable sweaters, in go-with-everything shades. Perfect. And after that I was okay and didn’t feel sorry for myself anymore. 

This post is getting long, but I leave you with this…

Santa and the Reindeer

“This is the hour,” said Santa Claus,
“The bells ring merrily.”
Then on his back he slung his pack,
And into his sleigh climbed he.

“On, Dancer! On, Prancer! On, Donner and Blitzen!
On Comet and Cupid!” cried he.
And all the reindeers leaped but one,
And that one stood silently.

He had pulled the sleigh for a thousand years,
And never a word spoke he.
Now he stood in the snow, and he whispered low –
“Oh what do you have for me?”

“I have games and toys for girls and boys,”
Said Santa cheerily.
The reindeer stood as if made of wood –
“But what do you have for me?”

“The socks are hung, the bells are rung!”
Cried Santa desperately.
The reindeer winked at a falling star –
“But what do you have for me?”

Then Santa reached into his beard,
And he found a tiny flea,
And he put it into the reindeer’s ear,
And the reindeer said, “For me? Oh gee!”

And into the blue away they flew,
Away they flew with the flea.
And the moral of this yuletide tale
You know as well as me.

Where The Sidewalk Ends: The Poems and Drawings of Shel Silverstein. New York: Harper and Row, 1974.