If You Remember Being a Christian Teen in the 80's...

Here's a 2004 story from LarkNews (which is like The Onion, but solely spoofs evangelical Christianity. Some of you would find it more hilarious for that reason, others, not!)

Friends not friends forever, even if the Lord's the Lord of them, former pals say

SALEM, Mass. — Two former "best buddies" from Saratoga Nazarene Church say they learned the hard way that a lifetime is too long to live as friends, despite the claims of a popular Christian song.
Theresa and Dalia, both 13, became best friends the day they met in third grade. They soon realized they were the only serious Christians in the school, and both had major crushes on Michael W. Smith.
"We used to bounce on my bed using hairbrushes as microphones and singing 'Friends' to each other," says Theresa. "I'd sing Amy Grant's part and she'd sing Michael W. Smith's part. Then we'd laugh and roll around. We knew our friendship was forever, like the song said."
But at the end of eighth grade, things hit a rough patch. Dalia quit wearing her Amy Grant Hearts in Motion Concert Tour T-shirt to school on Fridays, as she and Theresa had done for years.
"That felt like betrayal," Theresa said. "I was totally alone."
Then both girls developed a crush on the same boy, Brad Loudermilk, the only decent-looking Christian in the school. Out of spite, Dalia switched her crush to a non-Christian guy, and the friendship with Theresa was effectively severed.
Theresa went home after school and ripped the Michael W. Smith poster from her wall, then crumpled onto her bed and sobbed.
"I guess friends will say never and the welcome does end," she said bitterly.

Source here.

See also these favorites: "Proverbs 31 Husband Justified Beer Habit" and "Teen No Longer Called to Chores"

Lucy

Lucy is the newest member of our household. She's about a year old and hails from the Humane Society. PetCo has some kind of deal with them, so that's where we actually picked her up. (Good for PetCo! It was also a much more pleasant environment than a kitty Auschwitz. Plus, they threw in valuable coupons.)

Lucy is affectionate, curious, brave, agile - and so far, not skittish, naughty, loud, or demanding.

After the difficulties that arose between Deb and I in the last days of our dog, Malika, (revealing that I am not the animal lover that Deb is!) she took matters into her own hands about the cat. She decided when we'd take action, picked the animal (though I met her at the shop), signed the papers, chose and bought all the 'accessories,' (more stuff than I would have deemed necessary), and paid for everything. I was a bit surprised. So, I guess Lucy is Deb's cat. Or Deb's her human. That may be best, and reduce the chances of further conflict. If decisions need to be made they will be hers. I can stick to a supporting role.

The Humane Society has a policy against taking checks and debit/credit cards; Deb had to go next door to get cash. While we waited, I stayed and played with the cat in the employee break room.

"Tarragon" (as she was named at that point) came right up to me. She was happy to be held but not insistent, and didn't seemed freaked out by the situation at all, so that was nice.

Tell you what freaked ME out though. The motivational posters on the walls about how PetCo intends to take over the world. (Through good customer service and taking back market share from WalMart and PetSmart, though, not breeding cats and dogs!)

At any rate, from the vantage point of Day 2, I think we're all going to get along fine.

To my amusement the neighbors' huge gray cat - who unlike most cats in these parts is allowed outside and sometimes comes in our yard - sat on the porch and stared in at us for quite a while this morning.

For most of you, that is all you want to know about that, or maybe more. But if you happen to be the type who can't get enough of this sort of thing, there are a few more pics here.

Holiday Postings

Not sure what interesting, helpful, inspiring, or original thoughts I have to contribute on a holiday theme this year. Any ideas? Meanwhile, here are some reruns - stuff I wrote last year.

Light of the World? (December 1, 2007)

'Penguins ARE Christmas...' (December 4, 2007)

Boxing Day Thoughts on Gift Giving (December 26, 2007)

November Reading: Part 2, Nonfiction

The Room of Marvels – “Room of Marvels mirrors author James Bryan Smith’s own heart-wrenching season of loss when his mother (Wanda), close friend (“Awesome God” singer Rich Mullins), and two-year-old daughter (Madeline) passed away within months of each other … Room of Marvels takes readers on a silent spiritual retreat with [the author] where he is swept up in a dream vision of heaven and given a guided tour by those he has lost. Reminiscent of the C. S. Lewis classic, The Great Divorce." [NOTE - After posting this I realize, it should probably be listed with "fiction"! But since it's allegory/theology, shared through story, it sort of bridges that divide. MKS]

Rereading this book for the third or fourth time, putting on music I’ve loved since college on the tape player in my car, and pulling on a sweater I've had for about 20 years, I realized how easily content I am with the things I already have. I am glad to have a library card and a budget and other ways to learn and explore new things, but I am just as happy with familiar books, music, clothes, etc. as with new ones. So, uh, don't look me to do my share to pull our economy out of recession, huh?

Whom God Has Joined, by Isobel Kuhn – Fun stories about John and Isobel’s life together as missionaries in China for two decades; blogged about it here. This is the third or fourth of Isobel’s book I’ve read. Snagged it from the OMF library, where there are lots more! Also intend to bring home some more by Phyllis Thompson, one of OMF's best writers.

Living Water, by Brother Yun, ed. Paul Hattaway – A series of devotions from the Chinese Christian whose story is told in The Heavenly Man. I'll admit I didn't read this properly, but sat down with a coffee and cruised through it in about an hour to get the gist of the thing. Need to go back and meditate more. I appreciated reading the scriptures – and seeing the global church and world missions – from the perspective of a gracious Asian. Good stuff.

2020 Vision: Amazing Stories about What God Is Doing around the World, by Bill & Amy Stearns – The Stearns clan came for a visit, and I wanted to read their latest book before they came. They have written several things along these lines. I would happily recommend this engaging mix of current events, history, and Bible to stir people up for world missions. A good read.

Also read:

• What Has Christianity Ever Done for Us? How It Shaped the Modern World, by Jonathan Hill
• From Seed to Fruit: Global Trends, Fruitful Practices, and Emerging Issues Among Muslims, ed. Dudley Woodberry
• Book of Psalms

November Reading: Part 1, Fiction

I Am The Cheese, by Robert Cormier – Dark stuff. My book club read this, partly because it was on the school reading list of one member’s teen-aged daughter. It was a pretty impressive work of art, though. Told from the point of view of an unreliable narrator – he mentions in the first chapter deciding not to take his pills... So the reader is never quite sure what is going on.

The Tale of Despereaux, Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup, and a Spool of Thread, by Kate diCamillo – Now, this one was NOT dark. A friend of mine mentioned that he was re-reading it with his boys and that it was one of their favorites – so I thought I would probably like it too, and I did. In my mind I heard it in S’s voice. Very charming. And it’s now, as they say, a major motion picture, coming to a theater near you. The author also wrote Because of Winn Dixie.

Inside Job, by Connie Willis – Like all of CW’s work, clever. This one’s a hardback novella, and I wouldn't shell out big bucks to buy it, but our library does a good job at carrying such things. Like many of her works, it includes tributes to things she likes – in this case, the writings of H.L. Mencken, famous skeptic.

Three antiques from The Literature Network: The Outdoor Girls at Wild Rose Lodge (1921), by Laura Lee Hope (yes, you know her name from more well-known but equally campy series like The Bobbsey Twins – oh yes, and Bunny Brown and Sister Sue, which even I could not stomach). Mary Marie (1920), and Miss Billy (1911), both by Eleanor H. Porter, who wrote Pollyanna.

I stumbled on this web site, which features some of the great (and not so great but once well-loved) literature that have now entered the public domain. Then spent a lovely Saturday morning reading these silly old-fashioned books all written long before I was born. All of them very much show their age, reflecting the sensibilities and values of days gone by.

By far the best of these three was Mary Marie, the story of a young girl whose parents are getting a divorce and plan to shuttle her back and forth. You know from the beginning (since this a 1920 book for children) that the family is destined to be reunited. I think what I liked best about it was that it didn’t end with that happy reunion but goes on to a scene some dozen years later when Mary Marie has grown up and finds her own marriage unsatisfactory, and for some of the same reasons. Will she leave her husband, or not?

(One funny thing about reading online is that they get their income from advertising; the vocabulary in sweet Mary Marie pulled up ads for ‘the married date club,’ a rather shocking dating service for people looking for a way to cheat, apparently.)

Dead Heat, by Joel C. Rosenberg – The climax of Rosenberg’s series of political thrillers, which are set in the very near future and apparently leading up to, if not the end of the world, within spitting distance of it. An assassination attempt on POTUS (that’s the ‘President of the United States in thriller jargon) is just the beginning. In fact, there’s a bit in there where the main character is studying Biblical prophecy and is most troubled that America is not mentioned (!). If these are the end times, how can the US not have a part to play? Are too many of us going to be taken out by the rapture (yeah, right) or is something else going to happen to neutralize the world’s only superpower? I’m not telling!

Controlling Interest, by Elizabeth White – Christian fiction mystery/romance thing; so-so. I picked it up partly because one of the main characters is a Pakistani, Muslim-background, recent convert to Christianity, and I wanted to see how they played that and if it would be believable. Was skeptical from the first since her name was Yasmina Patel. I thought all Patels were Hindu. In looking into I discover there are Muslim Patels as well. So there.

Also read:

• The Faraday Girls, by Monica McInerny
  
• The Comforts of a Muddy Saturday, by Alexander McCall Smith
• Ender in Exile, by Orson Scott Card

Isobel Kuhn - Missionary Wife in China

Our friend Isobel (whom I wrote about here and here) served with her husband planting churches primarily among the Lisu people of Southern China for about 20 years - through the 1930s and 1940s. In reading about her experiences with married life on the mission field, I'm amused how little has changed. The same problems with privacy, local expectations, servants, cooking, friend making, language... and different communication styles, energy levels, and preferences than her spouse. Like many a young couple, each of the Kuhns seemed to try to change the other to be more like themselves: "I'm sure you'd be much happier, too, dear...!"

The 19 essays in Whom God Has Joined describe the same kinds of conflicts, pressures, misunderstandings, and compromises (as well as partnership, growth, and joy) mark the lives of couples I know all over the world today.

And she tells stories so well... that actually was one of the things they had to learn to blend on, actually. "Belle" was rather prone to exaggeration. When she toned everything down to just the facts, nobody got anything out of their letters. She learned to choose her words carefully to please her husband without quenching the enthusiasm that made her stories come alive to readers. It is possible to be both accurate and engaging, but it can take some doing.

I don't know how many couples I've coached through newsletter writing. Conflicts in that area are far from the most serious, but seem remarkably common! At any rate, by the time she came into her own, Isobel's writing was great. This short book was a pleasure to read.

In the weeks leading up to their wedding in Kunming, Isobel and John were staying in the homes of Mrs. A, and Mrs. B, respectively.

"Mrs. A was the ascetic type who felt that missionaries should live with the nationals and be as self-denying as possible. Mrs. B, who was in charge of the guest house, had a distinct gift for arranging her home in an attractive style and did not feel it wrong to spend a little money to maintain it. Since many of our Yunnan workers lived in the mountains among the tribes where life was primitive and hard, she felt that on the few occasions which brought them out to civilization ... they should have comfortable rooms and good food. Obviously, two such opposite dispositions would not always agree."

I've certainly run into those kind of differences and tensions on the field. I ended up writing a whole paper about the principles missionary women seem to fall back on to make "lifestyle" decisions and how those decisions affect - or don't affect - the way locals see them. No definitive answer, by the way, but it was helpful just to unpack the nuances of that topic for people, since it can cause such conflicts on the field.

Anyway, John and Isobel had to do some dying to self to plan a wedding that would not unduly offend people's expectations. They wanted something small, but ended up inviting all the foreigners in Kunming. Of course, Mrs. A and Mrs. B did an awful lot of the work!

But the opportunity for conflict in such matters did not end there.

"One evening some days before the wedding, my hostess Mrs. A appeared at the supper table looking rather fatigued but triumphant. 'I've been all day working over at the Peng Gardens, getting some rooms ready for you and John to occupy on your honeymoon,' she announced.

"... I was quite overwhelmed with her kindness ... and was not slow to tell Mrs. B ... but I was quite unprepared for Mrs. B's reaction. 'Oh, but you can't do that!' she almost wailed. 'I've arranged for you to rent the honeymoon cottage across the lake. It does not cost much for a week...'"

I like John and Isobel's solution. They realized that what might be more important than picking the best situation for themselves, or earning favor with the two women (whom they would seldom see again, when they left for their new home), was avoiding resentment between Mrs. A. and Mrs. B over the matter. Isobel preferred that both neighbors be disgusted with her rather than one another. So she looked for a third place to go instead! When a fat check arrived from John's father they decided to spend it by giving themselves a week in the fanciest place in town.

"As we rode off in rickshaws for the French hotel, we turned to wave to our group of friends. There were our two dear hostesses, standing in unconscious union, trying to wave hopefully to us, but each dubiously shaking her head over those unmanageable and extravagant Kuhns."

If any of you are interested in exploring the topic more, I'd recommend the latest edition of Evangelical Missions Quarterly. It's focused on "Families in Mission" and includes articles on marriage, parenting, stress, furlough, and even a short "theology of the family in mission."

King David Sings the Blues

This guy David who wrote all those Psalms, he’s pretty outrageous. He wrote some good, accessible stuff that would (does!) get airplay on your Christian radio station, but an awful lot of it wouldn’t (doesn't!) make it on the air in our day. It’s just too dark...

I do love happy things – inspiring songs, sentimental movies, Christmas music, the lights and warmth and peace on earth, goodwill to men that all come up this time of year. I’m not out there looking for stories or jokes about things that are crude or ugly or terrifying in the mistaken belief that those things are what’s “real.” In fact, I’m HUNGRY for mercy, wholesomeness and sincerity, and often find them in short supply in a world of cynicism, sarcasm, and venom.

The choir at the mega-church on the hill behind my house is working hard to prepare for their Christmas show, called “Love Has Come.” I can’t think of three syllables that sound like better news than that.

But you know, I tend not to know what to do with my darker feelings: self-pity, jealousy, resentment, pride, anger, blame, scorn, condemnation. What do you do when you see those things in your heart, when you recognize that you are your own worst enemy? The more I see how unfair and irrational my negative emotions are, the more upset I get about being upset, and then tend to take that out on other people.

So for me, I think part of growing up would be to mellow out, to face and re-wire my reactions to the thing that really push my buttons. I do have solid instincts, and I need to be able to trust them and listen to them without making them the last word – so I can’t just shut down or pull back. Is it really possible to be passionate and articulate without going around wreaking havoc and destruction? I believe it is, even if I don’t know how to do that consistently. Oooh, I know the answers are simple, and largely untried or unpracticed: prayer, surrender, humility, healing, being filled with the Spirit! I need to camp out in Colossians 3 a bit more.

Meanwhile, we have the psalms. They give me a vocabulary for pain and struggle. Boy did that David know how to sing the blues! No. 69 is one of his songs that puts our far smaller struggles into perspective, while giving us the words and go-ahead to complain and cry out to God when this is how we feel. Although I can’t quite do it without laughing, so maybe that’s a sign that that I’m not so bad off after all. (Really… “Woe is me! Those who hate me for no reason outnumber the hairs on my head!”)

How does this psalm strike you? Anything grab you?

1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.

2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.

3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.

4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.

5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.

6 May those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me,
O Lord, the LORD Almighty;
may those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel.

7 For I endure scorn for your sake,
and shame covers my face.

8 I am a stranger to my brothers,
an alien to my own mother's sons;

9 for zeal for your house consumes me,
and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.

10 When I weep and fast,
I must endure scorn;

11 when I put on sackcloth,
people make sport of me.

12 Those who sit at the gate mock me,
and I am the song of the drunkards.

13 But I pray to you, O LORD,
in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God,
answer me with your sure salvation.

14 Rescue me from the mire,
do not let me sink;
deliver me from those who hate me,
from the deep waters.

15 Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
or the depths swallow me up
or the pit close its mouth over me.

16 Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love;
in your great mercy turn to me.

17 Do not hide your face from your servant;
answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.

18 Come near and rescue me;
redeem me because of my foes.

19 You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed;
all my enemies are before you.

20 Scorn has broken my heart
and has left me helpless;
I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
for comforters, but I found none.

21 They put gall in my food
and gave me vinegar for my thirst.

22 May the table set before them become a snare;
may it become retribution and ^[a] a trap.

23 May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see,
and their backs be bent forever.

24 Pour out your wrath on them;
let your fierce anger overtake them.

25 May their place be deserted;
let there be no one to dwell in their tents.

26 For they persecute those you wound
and talk about the pain of those you hurt.

27 Charge them with crime upon crime;
do not let them share in your salvation.

28 May they be blotted out of the book of life
and not be listed with the righteous.

29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me.

30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.

31 This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.

32 The poor will see and be glad—
you who seek God, may your hearts live!

33 The LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his captive people.

34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and all that move in them,

35 for God will save Zion
and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;

36 the children of his servants will inherit it,
and those who love his name will dwell there.