Can't Complain

Writing a “team covenant” is a fairly common practice in this whole short-term mission biz in which I work (at least, in which I do some of my work).

So I was not surprised that the practice was given time and attention during the 3.5-day general STM orientation I was part of last week.

Seemed like most teams followed the lead of the staff by including statements in their covenant about how they were going to interact with each other through the course of the summer, like giving each other the benefit of the doubt, resolving conflicts quickly, going to the person you have a problem with instead of talking behind their back, and so on.

Sounds good. Maybe it would be hard to abide by, but everyone could agree that that was best and having put it down on paper would help them strive for it.

But there’s one bit I’m not sure how to evaluate... Two words it sounded like they were all putting in their team covenants:

“No complaining.”

Is it just me or is that asking a lot? Potentially abusive? The kind of thing, if interpreted strictly, that could isolate people and keep them from being able to deal with and grow through their struggles and frustrations?

On one hand, you don't want people feeling like it's perfectly OK to question every decision or to judge their leader and hosts and drag everyone down. Grumbling can be really destructive; we should, instead, look for opportunities to be flexible, to cultivate gratitude, to guard our hearts and relationships, to see why things might be the way they are and try to accept them.

But could you sign a covenant promising absolutely no complaining for 8-10 weeks? What if you were living in a radically different culture that you didn’t understand and doing things that you’ve never done before, fighting sickness and culture shock, and probably coming face to face with your deepest weaknesses and fears?

I don't know.

I didn't, uh, complain about the matter. I'm not sure I could defend my doubts persuasively, or come up with any more realistic suggestions along the same line.

Maybe those words, "Don't complain," are fine, just as they are. Teams can flesh them out as they see fit.

I did come up with one suggestion: I encouraged people to consider a journal/prayer diary as a good place to vent, rather than, say, breaking away to write long desperate emails to your most sympathetic friend back home, or yelling at your teammates. (Same catharsis, less debris.)

Those pesky verses from Philippians 2 kept coming to mind... "Do everything without complaining or arguing" (2:14; see it in context here).