Learning to Be Happy

I've often alluded here to a couple of vague but important projects I've been working on in the recent months of my little mid-life crisis. (1) Learning to cultivate the resources at hand for being happy, and (2) Learning to grieve my recent losses well. In both cases, my hope is to deal with the things that would derail me and build a better foundation for life and ministry in years to come. (I suppose it's funny to be so analytical about it: these are =emotions= we're talking about aren't they? But analytical I am; might as well harness it.)

One important question I've had to explore in this is: Does the way we view ourselves and our lives really matter? I believe it does. In fact, I've come to a tentative conclusion that perhaps only when we deal with our internal conflicts and learn to be happy can we really be useful. At any rate there seems a strong connection between those things. I don't want to make 'be happy' my goal, but I think perhaps it is my responsibility. Not in a Sound-of-Music kind of way like the picture here suggests, but in the sense of finding contentment and cultivating hope.

Of course, the whole grief and loss thing tends to pull me in the other direction, and well it might. So while I cultivate contentment, it's got to be OK that grief or anger come along and swallow me up at times too.

Anyway, this passage from Dallas Willard came to mind. I'd love to hear your thoughts about it.

[Another] area required to bring disciples into the place where they can love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength concerns the goodness of their own existence and of the life that is made theirs through their natural birth and the following course of life.

God… is lovely and magnificent. But he will remain something to be admired and even worshiped at a distance if that is all we know of him. In order for disciples to be brought into a full and joyous love of God they must see their very own life within the framework of unqualified goodness. Perhaps ‘see’ is too strong a word… but they must at least be sure in their hearts that their life must be a good thing.

We will never have the easy, unhesitating love of God that makes obedience to Jesus our natural response unless we are absolutely sure that it is good for us to be, and to be who we are. This means we must have no doubt that the path appointed for us when and where and to whom we were born is good and that nothing irredeemable has happened to us or can happen to us on our way to our destiny in God’s full world.

Any doubt on this point gives force to the soul-numbing idea that God’s commandments are, after all, only for his benefit and enjoyment, and that in the final analysis we must look out for ourselves.

Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy

It's good logic, and it rings true on an intuitive level as well! How can we love and trust God if we are not secure in knowing we are being looked after, not just being used up? If I want to be abandoned to God I've got to see that he is trustworthy. Which he is!

On a lighter note, here are a dozen things I've discovered that make me happy:

1. Getting eight hours of sleep in a comfortable bed
2. Eating less and exercising more
3. Making a point of taking care of my body (e.g., fingernails, skincare, etc.)
   
4. Wearing comfortable, attractive clothes even when I'm just by myself
   
5. Reading wholesome, interesting books and magazines
6. Listening to good music that lifts my spirits
7. Getting enough sunshine
8. Praying - talking to God about everything
   
9. Blogging, writing, and correspondence with good friends
10. Interacting with, listening to, and working on projects with other people (rarer given the collapse of our office culture and the cancellation of just about all of my outside-the-office activities! I hope things will be better in the fall.)
11. The satisfaction of making a plan and following it, at least some of the time - or at any rate, understanding and following through on what I believe is important to do
    
12. And, finally: discovering that thanks to the invention of the travel mug I can have my morning shower and my morning coffee =at the same time= (try it!)

I know, I'm blessed with greater resources and more freedom and energy to seek such pleasures than, say, my friends whose lives are consumed in caring for a family. We both have it good, though, in different ways. There's no sense talking of trading places, because it is not an option at present! Still I'd be interested in hearing from you or anyone else: What refreshes you, makes you happy, lifts your spirits? What's on your list?