What Happened to Downtime?

I haven't been blogging much, have I? And I haven't been reading books, or going for walks. Life has filled up with other kinds of writing, reading, thinking, connecting. Some of it with less proven value.

Today I woke up at 3:30, thinking to take something for my headache and go back to sleep, but now it's after 4:00 and feels like morning, not night, so I wonder if I will. Turned on the computer. Saw that a friend has booked a one-way ticket to Arizona to be with her dad who seems to be dying. Prayed for her, and another friend, also my age, who lost her mother lately. Remembered I'd told my sister I'd pray for some of her friends facing various losses and lifted them up again too. 

Thinking about the day to come and the one that just ended...

Wednesdays I tend to spend a lot of time watching our ezine unfold. It goes out first thing - by which I mean, 12:15 a.m. Eastern. I like to see who has opened it, who has shared it, who has written comments or sent in questions. I re-read it, reflect on what we've done, what I might want to do next time. And I watch what links people click and who is clicking. 

Yesterday, the story that got the clicks was about a woman who creates art inspired both by traditional henna designs and stories from the Bible. It captured my imagination; I'd like to see a collection of henna-art Bible story pictures. Hundreds of people clicked on the link that said "full story with pictures," but the pictures were too oblique and I wonder if they were a little disappointed, as I had been; you couldn't really see the art very well. 

I wonder how much of my stat checking - on Wednesdays and other times - is honest healthy reflection, and how much is what they call "insecurity work." I first saw this helpful term just recently, here:

>> What Happened to Downtime? The Extinction of Deep Thinking and Sacred Space (Scott Belsky) 

After a day that involved a lot of frittering, things took a sudden turn. I was wondering how I'd get the "two hours a day of people time" which helps me feel connected - really connected. And this time it found me. A friend who now lives halfway across the country suddenly showed up at the coffee shop where I was sitting hunched in front of the laptop. She was in town, was having dinner with someone we both knew I'd love to meet, and did I want to join them? The far-reaching conversation that followed was wonderful. Thanks, Nancy. 

I have several half-composed posts it would be satisfying to finish and share with you, but I think perhaps some time with pen and paper - journaling 'offline' - will come first.