How to Ask a Question

1. Timing

So, I've noticed that when it comes to email, the day of the week that I write seems to have a direct connection to the likelihood that my email gets a response. (Monday mornings and Friday nights are bad, as are weekends; midweek is best.)

Now I'm wondering if the time of day the email is read also makes a difference. I would hazard a guess that - when you are writing to people who sit in front of computers with their email open all day - the early or mid-afternoon emails tend to generate a quick response. Do you think I'm right? I wonder if anyone's done a study of this sort of thing?

At any rate, that may have been a factor in the active exchange generated by the question I sent to three people one recent afternoon. Each one wrote back quickly; one of them twice, and one suggested another person to contact. This secondary contact was also happy to help, and cc:ed two others on his response. Both of them responded promptly as well. Each of these emails indicated an active interest in my question and included helpful information in response to my request. Within hours I had a fairly rich body of material to send back to the person who had asked me for the information.

I suspect the fact that I received the request at just the time in the day I was most likely to welcome a bit of detective work must have helped, and I think I caught each of my correspondents in just the same frame of mind.

2. A Simple, Clear Request

I asked a fairly simple question to which I had not been able to find good answers on my own, but about which my correspondents had some knowledge. The question was, "Do you know any good missionary biographies about Thailand?" Surely there must be some...

So I started to ask.

3. Guanxi (described here)

The other factor I'm pretty sure made a difference was the level of connection each person had with the one posing the question. CG, who made the original call, didn't know any of us. No guanxi to speak of, between us. But he was warm and friendly, and tapped into the two factors above - good timing, and a clear, simple request. He reached me through BK, my friend and coworker. BK and I have some guanxi; we help each other a lot and feel beholden to be responsive to one another.

I send my request to CD, a personal friend, who took it back to JB, her coworker. JB doesn't know CG but he knows me. JB and CD are good friends.

I also sent my request to SB, a good friend and colleague. SB and I are frequently in touch and like to help each other, so of course he responded.

Then, I sent my request to DD. DD works in our home office in Florida. She and I are friends. DD suggested I contact TS.

TS not only has a great relationship with DS, he also knows me and owes me a favor. After all, last time I asked him a question he took about a month to answer it. So, he may have felt some pressure to be more responsive this time.

Then - here's where the guanxi gets really thick. TS wrote back and cc:ed FS and AS - his parents! They are also subject-area experts. So they have a strong motivation to help people get their facts straight, even if they typically have more people wanting their help than they can respond to. But the question came from their son. And they knew it was for me. AS knows me, if only slightly. They didn't seem to understand that I was asking for CG; but for me, and for TS, they "hastened to reply."

CG lucked out. His question was not perceived by anybody as impersonal or burdensome. Everyone was motivated to help.

And CG knew what to do next: He followed up with a phone call to AS, the subject-area expert, and they apparently charmed one another. "Delightful man!" says CG. Now CG has a direct connection. He will have no trouble getting all the advice he needs, not just about this particular question but other areas that might affect his project. He works with a campus ministry and is taking a short-term team to Thailand this summer.

I wonder how often I ignore or minimize the importance of these factors - timing, clarity, and connections?