I’ve had several encounters this week that included ‘the look.’ No, not a glare, nor a leer, or even a look that everyone would find unpleasant. Many people like it. But I never have. It’s the look that says, “Aren’t you amazing?” And perhaps they would add: “I could never be like you / do what you do / understand you.” Keep in mind I’m projecting: Often the words are never spoken aloud. Sometimes they are.
I’m sure people don’t realize how it bothers me. It’s not that I dislike drawing attention on the whole. I enjoy public speaking, and I love to make people laugh. If being admired does not necessarily bother me, then what is it? I think it’s just being found ‘unusual.’ People put me in some category to which they cannot relate; they point to and underline the differences between us instead of seeing and acknowledging the many things that make us brothers and sisters, friends, sojourners on same path, or one of those comforting images. I so much prefer the words, “I know just what you mean!” and “I feel the same way!” Being told I’m strange and different - even with admiration - is lonely and isolating.
I suppose it should not be surprising, now more than ever, that I get the look. The stories I tell, the places I've been, the things I'm interested in are all a bit off the beaten path I suppose. When people ask if I have any travels planned I have to mention that I’ve met a great Australian guy and am preparing to go to the other side of the world to see if I can join him in his life on the Caspian Sea. Weird? Yes, I’m afraid so.
Well, why let the look spoil my joy? Time to stop taking offense and let my friends and acquaintances off the hook.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this tension. I bet a lot of people do. Is that ironic or what? Just one of those things about being human. We are so much alike, and so different. Is it surprising that the different-ness should strike one powerfully, at times?
3 comments:
That was fun reading. Not many times do I find people I can really relate too, or another who really understands me.
Non missio people in Australia say; "The Caspian Sea, Kazakhstan, where is that? Russia?"
Then from this end, the locals say; 'Australia where is that Austria?' 'No' I say; Kangaroos you know?'
Oh my goodness Lord, where is my soul mate? Have I found her? Is she strange, unusual, different, like me? If she gives me that 'Look' I will give her that look knowingly right back. And what better place for that 'Look' to have relevance and authenticity then at the exotic edge of the Central Asian Steppe, where Camels proudly stroll in off the ancient Silk Road, linking us to the modern Oil Wealth gushing out along the shores of the Caspian Sea.
Yeah, we get that look sometimes, and we just live in Kansas! Hi, Marti! I thought you'd want to know that Baby Aletheia was born safely into Nate's capable hands on Saturday morning at 3:00 - just the three of us! Maybe she (and the other eight) accounts for that look in our case :-).
i tell people you are the exciting twin and i am the boring one. but actually i do not think i am boring, i just think most people would not understand the excitment of being an artist, since it is mostly pretty solitary. i know "the look" --only i mostly get it in email, from people who have seen my art online and who never imagined that the person who created it could ever feel sad, or lonely, or grumpy, or think their drawings looked like pig drool. or that the person who drew those drawings could ever get irritable because their boss sold 56 drawings last month for scads of money.
i digressed. but i think the point is that we all tend to create ideas about people we do not know well based on cursury evidence.
frustrating.
i have been meaning to call, you'd think someone as laid up as i have been would have nothing but time but i've slept a lot. i have been back at work for a week now. i should talk to you about computer stuff, i think i have a copy of office and a copy of photoshop you could have since i switched to mac. (i will consider that fair use even though i did not deinstall off my old harddrive because i can't access it other than read only right now.) i just need to locate the boxes and things :) just if you want. they are not the latest but i happy with them. maybe you will get a computer with office but probably not PS.
xo mei
Post a Comment