Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Considering the Roads Less Taken
This is so much less appealing than the still-conceivable idea (please forgive the pun) of getting lucky and skipping straight to grandmotherhood that it tends to shake off the layer of self-pity I wear at times on account of having somehow ended up on the road less taken and missing out on what is apparently life's greatest joy: being a mom.
Whew, that's a long sentence. But it's a complex issue. I can joke about all this easily enough, but shoot, when my period was two weeks late this month - and not because I might be pregnant; I know that much about the birds and the bees - I felt a bit of panic: what, could it be too late? Is it all over for me? What's next, hot flashes? A bad back? Have I broken the biological mandate? Have I made a terrible mistake and missed what I was made for?
But back to adoption. While you don't have to pass a test or complete an internship to become a biological parent, to adopt, you do. I'm pretty sure they set the bar too high for the likes of me. I'm alone, don't have a place of my own, lack parents or siblings nearby to pitch in, and take home a salary that works for me but would probably look pathetic to the people who evaluate these things. Also, even though I like to be around kids I have little experience caring for them, much less the knack or demonstration of investment in child-rearing that I suspect the adoption-patrol would be looking for in releasing a precious child into someone's scare. Oops, I meant to type "care."
What if I had a husband who was willing to start a family with me, one way or the other? Still not something to enter into lightly, not for the first time, when you're in your 40s. So unless God spoke to me directly about it, I would not voluntarily become a single mother. I know there are some who can. I just don't think I'm one of them.
Question: Would you ever consider adoption? Even if you were single? Why or why not?