Material World

February 21, 2007: Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix, Arizona - Was expecting to fly back to Denver this morning but my flight was cancelled. I’m booked on another in a couple hours which will take me home via Los Angeles. So I have an extra window of time for rest and reflection, if not one of my choosing. Thank you, Lord, for this gift.

I was here to teach a couple of Perspectives classes. It has also been good to meet some new people and hear their stories, catch up with my old friend Meg, and make a visit to the mission agency Frontiers which has a brand-new headquarters here. And yes, it was good to get away from the continuing eddies - some of them rather fierce - that are following the sinking of our organizational ship - to hang out with people who are in a healthier place.

Here's an observation. I’ve noticed that most houses in the Phoenix area have a very large ‘footprint.’ Spacious homes, adjoined by patios and pools, stretch across sprawling lots as if spreading themselves as far as they can, hugging the clay and earth to stay cool, perhaps.

And here's a response: I like staying with people when I travel but there is one attendant risk, or danger - the temptation of house envy.

What I actually envy has changed over the years. The place I stayed this week wasn’t unusually charming or interesting (like the Victorian place my friend Ann used to have, with all the antiques and the secret room).

This time it was the ample cupboard space in the kitchen; sure aroused my desire. Ah, to say goodbye to the clatter of pots and pans early in the morning when I’m trying to put things away in our crowded kitchen cupboards, or the frustration of being unable to find a lid!

And the room-sized clothes closet behind those shiny mirrored doors in the master bath? I want it! Then I could hang all my clothes instead of keeping many of them folded on shelves to be pawed through and refolded impatiently, all the time; I don’t have enough room in my closet and no room for a dresser. So sometimes I have trouble finding anything that isn’t wrinkled.

There are considerable benefits to having a small house, restrictions on how much one can acquire, and a low cost of living. I like living simply: traveling light through this world. But this jealousy has overtaken me before. As a single woman missionary-type, I sometimes find myself slipping into self-pity, envying my married friends their collections of soft towels, drawers of matching spoons, and the chance to sleep - every night - in a bed that’s more than four feet across.

One thing that has helped is to confess it.

Then, it helps to take a good look at what it is that I want and ask if it's something I need to just say "no" to, something I can enjoy without needing to possess, or something I can actually get for myself and have without feeling guilty or extravagant.

So: yes, now I do have the matching spoons - and forks and knives to go with them. And I tell you, that gives me considerable satisfaction.