The Best Week of Your Life

(The Gospel of Not Good Enough, Part 2)

One of the most significant times I experienced the joy and freedom of surrender was when I was about 15 years old.

I was part of a youth ministry called Young Life. Each summer Young Life sent hundreds of high-school kids to a camp way up North in British Columbia. You couldn’t drive there because there were no roads. You had to take a bus, a ferry, and then a smaller boat up to the Princess Louisa Inlet. It took about eight hours to get there.

The actual details of camp activities were a closely guarded secret. Sound cultish? Yeah, maybe, but they were aiming for more of a surprise party.

Me, I was expecting something rustic. Camp, right? Perhaps, though, since it was called “The Malibu Club in Canada,” I could have gotten the hint that this would be nothing like my Girl Scout experiences.

“The best week of your life – guaranteed!” read the advertisements. In a strange way, it was.

Turned out the camp was not really rustic at all. It was basically a cushy resort. Instead of canoes and campfires, there was a heated pool and an ice cream shop.

Girls brought their bikinis and cute clothes, hair driers and curling irons and makeup. Malibu offered a ropes course and zip line, swimming and water-skiing and ping pong and volleyball. One night there was a dance; another night, a dress-up banquet. And everywhere primping, playing, and lots and lots of flirting.

Here I was, serious, shy, and awkward, the girl whose least-favorite parts of school were PE, lunch, and recess. I didn’t know anybody there. You can imagine how out of place I felt. At that age, especially, I found few things more painful than “fun.”I haven't changed all that much! But in those days, I believed if I wasn’t having a good time when others were, it probably meant there was something seriously wrong with me.

I was disgusted with myself for not being able to overcome my deep discomfort to reach out to other people and be “friendly.” It was, after all, a Christian camp, and here I was, a Christian. Each evening included singing, and Bible teaching, and small-group discussions with cabin-mates about having a relationship with God. Moreover, I was the only "believer" in my cabin. (Young Life specializes in winning over the non-churchy kids.) Surely I should be able to suck it up and reach out to these girls. But I couldn't get my eyes off myself.

Scores of kids gave their hearts to God that week. But for me, the story was different. Somehow I survived the week and even managed to have a little fun along the way, but it was pretty rough.

And you know, that's just what I needed.

On the long trip back home I prayed and told the Lord: “I can’t do this anymore. I'm so sorry! I’ve been a Christian for a couple years now but I am not any better than I was pushing back my shyness to minister to others, at putting other people first. I'm of no use to you. I’m not good enough. Apparently I can’t ‘do’ this Christian-life.”

Then God responded. Really. He said, in that clear, gentle, re-orienting way that he has, “But I can.”

I don't think I understood, before, that that might be an option!

He cracked me open enough to pour in his peace and joy. I found that my desperation was not the end, but the beginning. The Christian life wasn't about trying to be a better person, a good Christian. Grace and acceptance were on offer, and that's what I needed.

Surrender has a way of turning everything upside down. It didn't change my attitude toward stereotypical youth group "fun," but for months, I could not stop singing.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

See also:

The prequel: Asking for Direction(s)
Part 1: Waving the White Flag of Surrender
Part 2: Best Week of Your Life
Part 3: Pretty, Popular, Good

Waving the White Flag of Surrender

(The Gospel of Not Good Enough, Part 1)

A frequent failure to get things right can leave me feeling burdened and beat up. But I don't like to admit it.

This week at church we were served communion. While Catholics and some others observe the rite quite often, many evangelicals make room for this powerful transaction only once a month or once a quarter. So sometimes it catches me by surprise. 

Communion Sunday can seem like a pop quiz: Uh oh, he's here! (yeah, Jesus...) Oh, I know he's always there. But there's something a bit solemn about examining one's heart before taking the elements: Am I really right with God and man?

Yet if it is a test of anything, at least it is a test of willingness, not progress; openness, not achievement. Are we ready to welcome God when we see him? Can we confess to the one who designed us, “OK, I'm here too. I come as I am.”

After all, it's a pretty amazing invitation. Jesus says,

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” (Revelation 3:20)

So, maybe it's better to push aside those thoughts that this is a test. And to receive it as a gift, instead.

* * *

The relatively small, vulnerable communities of Christians in Central Asia tend to refer to the act of turning to Jesus not as “believing” but as “repenting.” “When did you repent? Has she repented yet?”'

The language offends human dignity, but it works for me. Others speak of “following” Christ or “trusting” Christ. Each of these terms reveals that (as the saying goes) it’s not what you know, but who you know.

For me, the gospel is about getting to the end of the battle and discovering what happens when we surrender. The good news is you're not good enough.

Series: The Gospel of Not Good Enough

The prequel: Asking for Direction(s)
Part 1: Waving the White Flag of Surrender
Part 2: Best Week of Your Life
Part 3: Pretty, Popular, Good

Stopping to Ask for Direction(s)

(The Gospel of Not Good Enough, prequel)

"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking." (James 1:5, NLT)

“It doesn’t hurt to ask,” say the people who think it doesn’t hurt to ask.

But sometimes it hurts, doesn’t it?

Are you one of those people who hate to stop and ask for directions? I don’t exactly hate it, but don't tend to do it.

As followers of Jesus what a remarkable privilege it is that we can stop and ask for direction, quite often receiving it. Sometimes this comes through the rare, clear, conviction, “This is the way; walk ye in it.” Other times when we ask for guidance we may see it only in hindsight: having asked, we have been led.

Yet how often we choose the route of stubbornness, unwilling to stop and admit we're lost, to let someone else tell us the way to go. “I’m pretty sure I can figure this out on my own; I’ll just go a little further down this road and maybe I’ll start to recognize where I am,” we quietly think, all the while getting more and more off course.

"So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it." (Hebrews 2:1, NLT)

Series: The Gospel of Not Good Enough

The prequel: Asking for Direction(s)
Part 1: Waving the White Flag of Surrender
Part 2: Best Week of Your Life

Part 3: Pretty, Popular, Good

Too Busy to Listen?

“Americans too busy to listen to the other side,” read the headline. Susan, writing a letter to the editor of the Denver Post (printed 9-3-09), explained:

“It seems to me that many Americans are so busy with instant communications – from instant messaging to texting – that they no longer listen to the other side of the ‘conversation.’ They are too busy thinking about their response.” *

I imagine we’ve always had this tendency. Not just as Americans but as humans. We are more interested in airing our own opinions than hearing those of others. When we do listen, it may be just to figure out what so-and-so says so we can borrow their authority and parrot their words to someone else. A form of listening, but a weak one.

Such habits may cut us off from thinking and deprive us of the joy and insight that can come from dialogue and conversation.

The Problem of Reductionism

Is instant communication part of the problem?

Even that is a yes-or-no question, isn’t it?

Our short, immediate communications are like that, too.

I don’t know about you, but I cringe to see sophisticated ideas reduced to T-shirt slogans and bumper stickers, tweets and texts and tiny little comments. Such media seem to provide little room to explore beauty or pain, to acknowledge complexity, ambiguity, and ignorance.

Oh, sometimes less is really more. But I wonder if in years to come there will be a “slow mail” movement along the lines of the “slow food” movement.

If a five-hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice still finds a cult following among members of my MTV generation, if video-game-addicted children (and adults) can still get lost in a Harry Potter tome, maybe some of us can still read (and write) thoughtful essays and hold conversations that stretch languidly across the years...

In Defense of Instant Communication

On the other hand, I do not think I agree with Susan that instant communication leads to less listening. Maybe instant communications can be a tool for listening instead of a weapon to defend us from having to do it.

1. In spite of the name, instant communication often moves more slowly than face-to-face communication. You have more time to decide if and how to respond. Maybe in a true IM environment there's more pressure for an immediate reply. But tweets, texts and the like often go back and forth with more time and deliberation than a live conversation or phone call allows.
   
   
2. Instant communication invites expression from those who may otherwise lack skills or opportunities to write, publish, preach or teach. Ordinary people can get into the game. At least, they can if they have a keyboard and internet access.
   
   
3. Instant communication may lower the bar psychologically as well. Many who would find it too much trouble to do what Susan did – write a letter to the newspaper editor – or do what I'm doing, to blog about it - will respond to, “What’s on your mind?” in a line or two, or answer the question, “What are you doing?” in 140 characters or less. It seems so much easier.
   
   
4. Instant communication usually encourages and includes a means for instant feedback. These things are interactive. They can create community. Many probably find a greater sense of connection through these means than through older, slower means of [at least written] communication.

To the frequent accusation that texts, tweets, social networking, and the like are taking the place of “real” friendship, I would respond that many harness these media to support and maintain their face-to-face relationships.

* The rest of Susan’s letter: This was a fine introduction, but I was waiting for Susan to transition into something about health care reform and how the big problem was that the people who are wrong won’t listen to the people who – thinking as she does – are right. But she held back, instead continuing her letter with a fairly even hand:

“I believe this has spilled over to many of the town hall meetings being held on health care reform, where yelling seems to be a great part of the exercise. Recently deceased Sen. Ted Kennedy was a listener, albeit a strong supporter of his causes. He listened to members of his party in Congress and to members of the Republican Party. As a result, during his long career he was able to help craft many bills to the benefit of those in society who are unable to speak for themselves - on issues such as health care, civil rights, immigration, a fair minimum wage and educational reform.”

And that's all she said. (No, "and so, MY point is....")

See other posts on "Listening"

Hungry Hungry Hippos

Maybe you heard about the wildlife menagerie assembled by Pablo Escobar, a Columbian drug lord gunned down by police some years ago. He had invested some of his wealth in an extravagant collection of exotic animals. Most were taken by local zoos after the cocaine king’s death.

But the collection included nine hippos (now multiplied to 19; some reports say two dozen). No one could take the hippos. They remain in the area but without secure fences or a reliable food source.

The hippos were in the news in July when they got out, attacked some humans, and killed a few cattle (not usual behavior for happy hippos; a sign of food insecurity). Fearing for public safety the government arranged for one to be shot. Animal rights groups intervened before its mate could be killed as well. But these creatures are non-native and could wreak some serious havoc with the ecosystem if they took they went native and took to the jungles.

It must be hard to fence in a hippo, much less a whole herd of them. And what about the 80-100 pounds a day of grass or hay it takes to feed even one? I bet these are some hungry hippos.

“If there is anyone out there who needs 19 hippos and who has a few Colombian pesos to spare, please get in touch,” writes Wildlife Extra.

Want a hippo? This little guy is awfully appealing, in a Moomintroll kind of way. But I understand they get bigger.

(Photo by Carlos Andres).

Training in Relationship-based Research

Whew! It’s been a long and sometimes boulder-strewn path but I’m pleased to announce we’ve reached the end (or the beginning?) We’re ready to launch our online course in ethnographic research (aka, “drinking tea with people and listening to their stories!”)

My co-workers and I created Encounter Culture: Developing Research-informed Ministry so that people anywhere in the world can receive training in cultural learning – the kind that the research teams I work with have been doing for decades.

Maybe you know somebody (or are somebody!) who can use these skills. Encounter Culture is for Christian workers, church planters, strategists, short-term teams, and anyone pioneering a new, cross-cultural ministry or seeking deeper insights into the culture in which they find themselves (close to home or far away).

Can you help us spread the word? The first class will be September 15th to December 15.

Online Training in Relationship-based Research

Pioneering new ministry or seeking deeper insights into the culture where you live? Learn relationship-based research techniques used by short-term teams, church planters, strategists, and students around the world since 1988. Encounter Culture is a 10-week experiential training course developed by Caleb Resources using the book, “Exploring the Land.” A class begins September 15, 2009, and the next one is scheduled for January 15, 2010.

For more information or to register, see http://www.calebresources.org/node/270.

August Reading Roundup - Part 2, Nonfiction

A Resilient Life, by Gordon MacDonald - Pastor and writer looks at the habits, decisions, and disciplines that shape the lives of people who are resilient, and the things get in the way. Seems to be directed toward those who are in or beginning their "second half" of life, wanting to live wisely, keep growing, and make a difference. I found this volume helpful and gracefully written.

I blogged about several sections of it here: Life's Great (and Changing) Questions and Pesky Emotions.

Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance, by Barack Obama - The first black president of the Harvard Law Review (that was his big claim to fame, at 33) writes about his first few decades. This book explores Obama's family, upbringing, and search for his place in the world, including growing up in Hawaii, a couple years in Indonesia, school and university, and his early career as a community organizer in Chicago (working closely with the black churches, though he does not seem to have been a believer, at least not to start with).

Really interesting. A good chunk of the book describes an extended visit to Kenya where he tried to understand what it meant to be the son of a father he scarcely knew. Talk about a resilient life... I'm impressed.

The Invisible Wall: A Love Story that Broke Barriers, by Harry Bernstein - Boy grows up in a struggling Jewish family in a Yorkshire mill town between the wars. Though the Jews live on one side of the street and the Christians on the other, an invisible wall divides the two. Few are willing to cross it and face the consequences. Read this rather poignant memoir of those days for my book club, at the recommendation of Bob and Kathryn who live in that part of the UK.

There were things in this book that would have been changed had it been fiction. Reality does not unfold as gracefully, does it? Look for a new book from Donald Miller ("Blue Like Jazz") about trying to edit and find the narrative in his life. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life comes out at the end of September (I tried to get a review copy through this link but they were all snapped up pretty fast!)

Geography of Bliss, by Eric Weiner - Journalist explores the connections between place, culture, and happiness, visiting ten countries who pursue (and to some extend find) that elusive quality of bliss in various ways. Really enjoyed this one, learned a lot, and came away with much to reflect on. I blogged about this book here: The Geography of Bliss, and Switzerland, Iceland, Moldova, and the Geography of Bliss.

Crazy Love, by Francis Chan - Maybe I will blog about this as well. Here's a taste:

"I wrote this book because much of our talk doesn't match our lives. We say things like 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,' and 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart.' Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists." (p. 168)

"For so much of my life I didn't understand the desirability of God or trust in his love enough to submit my hopes and dreams. ...I knew God wanted all of me, yet I feared what complete surrender to him would mean. Trying harder doesn't work for me. Slowly I've learned to pray for God's help, and he has become my greatest love and desire." (p. 170)

>> See also August Reading Roundup - Part 1, Fiction