Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Missing Home

I've been in Oregon for almost eight months now and still feel those stabs of homesickness. At least they aren't as severe as they were when I first came. It helps that I like the new house and neighborhood. And I have a husband who is a good friend and will stick with me through thick and thin. I have a few other relationships here now, however new or tentative. Just not "old friends," people with whom I have that comfortable sense of knowing and being known - really, of belonging.

I don't deny what was lacking or lost over the seasons of my life in Colorado. But I miss my friends there, and the favorite haunts where I'd go to walk or work or study or hang out; I miss having colleagues I could get together with or just run into, face to face, and talk shop. I miss the sunny blue skies with big puffy clouds instead of a blanket of grey. I miss being able to see out.

Of course I've lost my place there. My car is here, my roommate has moved away, and somebody else lives in our house. I don't belong anymore. It's not very realistic to think I could just take off and go back to visit any time soon or for very long. C. doesn't get vacation time. He's tied down here with work, and school, and fire department, and kids. (Our kids, now, aren't they? Good kids, and nice to have around! But they are rather accustomed to having others look after them; it still catches me by surprise. They don't behave like the [grownup] housemates I've had in the past.)

Planning a trip back to Colorado may not be in the cards, and I'm not sure how satisfying it might be.  Pressing in, trusting God, counting my blessings, and persistently building a new life here, that's what I've got to do. And it's going to take more time and effort.

What are your best prescriptions - shallow or deep - for homesickness?

>> See also a previous post, Longing for Home.


Paul Merrill said...

When we moved away from Nairobi the first time, I wrote in my journal that I'd never again be able to connect with my best friend there at the time, due to the impending change in physical distance. Little did I know that we would move back, 11 years later. And he was still there.

So you never know what will happen.

Marti said...

Good point. Who knows where the currents of the future may take me! Thanks for writing, Paul.

Justin Long said...

Probably similar in some ways to culture shock, in a sense?

Marti said...

Yes... marriage is, too. Can't avoid the pain. But the process, and the fruit of it, is worth it.