Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Notorious / The Honest Resume

My friend B. is asking, what makes you notorious?

I was thinking about answering her question but realized I probably draw too much attention not just to my tricks, talents, and eccentricities, but also to my own deep frustrations with myself. I seek sympathy from others for my own failings - oh poor me, I have to live with me! I think sometimes this causes problems and gets in the way of others respecting, trusting, or feeling safe with me. Better just to lift my eyes off myself, not be so concerned with how I'm doing as if my flaws and failures were some huge tragedy.

I think it's a defense mechanism, a way to beat any potential critics to the punch. I must think, subconsciously, that if I'm really hard on myself, others will give me grace, whereas if I treat myself mercifully others will respond more critically. So: maybe I'm notoriously self-critical.

If this didn't "work" a fair bit of the time I probably wouldn't do it. But all the same I think a more balanced approach would be healthier. I think it would be a good idea to stop taking myself so seriously. I've grown in that, over the years; I don't do it all the time! But I flip back and forth.

On a (somewhat) lighter note, though, I was thinking - what would happen if, in those situations where we tend to emphasize only our virtues and accomplishments, we were open about our weaknesses and failures as well?

What if, for instance, you put on your resume the things you really do on the job? How much time you spend playing computer solitaire or checking things on the Internet? Your skill in undermining ideas you don't agree with?

What are other things that wouldn't make it onto a resume or job interview, but that would be of interest and concern to someone hiring?


Megan Noel said...

well, i recently didn't hire someone as receptionist and one reason was that in her interview she told me she liked to gossip. that's just a turn-off in a receptionist.. . much sensitive information passes through their hands. that does not mean she could not have handled it but just having her say that made me doubt. i think it is good to be honest about the things you find challenging, though.

Barb said...

I thought drawing attention to our eccentrities was what blogging was all about!

You're right ... you are too hard on yourself. I believe we all fall into the same trap as you - only seeing our faults and believe others will reject, disdain or even pity us if they knew the real me. But oddly, I don't think that about others - only myself so maybe I should think how other see me, or better yet, how Christ sees me (a little spiritual triteness but true).

In our world of counter-culture, Christ-like living I believe that is what He requires/ask/seeks - look at my weaknesses. Because we are all weak and when we see each other as weak - in need, desperate need - we care more, love more, have patience, kindness, etc.

Marti said...

Meg - yeah, there are certain faults that, if revealed one way or another, would definitely affect hiring. I'm all for believing the best in people and giving them grace, but when you have dozens of resumes for a position you're going to screen for those things!

Barb - yes, one's eccentricities do come out in a blog! But I think I go too far, getting truly upset about my flaws and mistakes. Need to show the same kind of merciful acceptance I try to show others, and certainly that God shows to me.

Yesterday I was pulled over for driving 70 in a 55... yikes. Rental car. Goes too fast. Indiana has too many wide open roads with low limits...! And the cop really yelled at me. Told me he was surprised I hadn't killed everyone on the road. He went back to his car to write me a ticket and I cried, hard. I so hate getting in trouble. But I probably needed a good cry - don't do that often. Anyway, rental car goes back in a couple hours, and I'll be careful until then!