My friend B. is asking, what makes you notorious?
I was thinking about answering her question but realized I probably draw too much attention not just to my tricks, talents, and eccentricities, but also to my own deep frustrations with myself. I seek sympathy from others for my own failings - oh poor me, I have to live with me! I think sometimes this causes problems and gets in the way of others respecting, trusting, or feeling safe with me. Better just to lift my eyes off myself, not be so concerned with how I'm doing as if my flaws and failures were some huge tragedy.
I think it's a defense mechanism, a way to beat any potential critics to the punch. I must think, subconsciously, that if I'm really hard on myself, others will give me grace, whereas if I treat myself mercifully others will respond more critically. So: maybe I'm notoriously self-critical.
If this didn't "work" a fair bit of the time I probably wouldn't do it. But all the same I think a more balanced approach would be healthier. I think it would be a good idea to stop taking myself so seriously. I've grown in that, over the years; I don't do it all the time! But I flip back and forth.
On a (somewhat) lighter note, though, I was thinking - what would happen if, in those situations where we tend to emphasize only our virtues and accomplishments, we were open about our weaknesses and failures as well?
What if, for instance, you put on your resume the things you really do on the job? How much time you spend playing computer solitaire or checking things on the Internet? Your skill in undermining ideas you don't agree with?
What are other things that wouldn't make it onto a resume or job interview, but that would be of interest and concern to someone hiring?