Sunday, July 19, 2009

Togetherness & Belonging

This week has stood in marked contrast to the lonely summer I've been whining about. Think God is trying to show me something?

Wednesday morning I had a rich time with my dear friend Andy and someone he wanted me to meet: a young cross-cultural worker who needed some help and encouragement in the challenges she faces raising support.

Came away encouraged, myself, about the process of inviting people to be involved in what I do. There are certainly lots of different ways to fund ministry, but I love the privilege of participating in this "raising personal support" model - and being on both sides of it. Feel like part of my legacy lives in the lives of those touched through the people I, too, support, in various ministries around the world.

Also, I can say truthfully each time I see Andy that I'm doing great; he and his wife Donna are among those who turn the lights on inside me. There's actually a pretty long list of people who have that effect, but few whom I see on a very regular basis.

So even though I was happy because of my morning appointment, I knew I needed to dig into some darker issues and did some writing to that effect that afternoon. Really brought me down. I slipped into that dark place, tending to believe I am destined to be rejected, excluded, overlooked, or forgotten. Why am I so ready to take on that role of an outsider, as if that's where I belong? Apparently I need some more prayer, more healing, in those areas. I don't think I've been ready to recognize that, to face that, to work through that - until maybe now.

Yet the events of the next few days did much to give me more and more evidence that I am - well, wanted. So very hard for me to believe; I need a lot of convincing. But that very evening I got a call from another favorite friend who hoped I'd join her family for the latest Harry Potter movie; there was a free ticket waiting for me, and how soon could I come?

The next day, friends who live in SE Asia dropped by the office right about the time everyone was leaving. Catching up with them was wonderful. As they left, both my phones were ringing; turned out some other friends from that part of the world were getting together - and would I join them? These are some of my favorite people; I've known most of them since the mid 1990s. I had just heard about the gathering, and might have easily slipped into sadness again about not belonging with them (they were all part of a team). But they made extra efforts to include me, somehow, anyway.

Two warm, spontaneous, personal invitations in two days. Hmmmm.

The next few events were planned. Friday, my small group met for dinner, worship, prayer, study - all woven together beautifully by the Holy Spirit to refresh and renew us all. Saturday night I attended an open house for a couple I support in Singapore. Sunday, a commissioning service for some friends doing church planting locally.

That's five parties in five days. Amazing. Too much, really. I'm not THAT much of an extrovert! But it sure helped me feel as if Someone is looking out for me.

Anybody remember this old song?

Brother, let me be your servant.
Let me be as Christ to you.
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey.
We are brothers on the road.
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load.

I will hold the Christ-light for you
In the night time of your fear.
I will hold my hand out to you;
Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping.
When you laugh, I'll laugh with you.
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through.

2 comments:

paulmerrill said...

Praise God for the refreshment!

Marti said...

Indeed! Thanks for praising God with me, Paul.