Situations in which I might easily enjoy with my friend - were we talking face to face or even in a more lengthy internet medium, such as a blog – may seem, when summed up in just a few words, to hit that “jealousy” button much more easily.
From the comments people leave each other and the complaints they also post, I sense I am not alone.
Of course the same evidence suggests I've been on the other side of it, stirring the envy of others with my adventures and discoveries. Or even just the news that I’m spending a quiet evening with a cup of a tea and a good book, an existence only dreamed of by my busy, child-rearing friends.
What do you think? Are these tensions inevitable given the tendencies of the human mind and heart? Or is there something that can be done to reduce status envy?
I came across a word that places the blame on the one who posts the update:
Facebrag: To use Facebook as a platform to brag. Normally about a job, internship, trip, purchase or anything else that nobody really needs to know but you'd like to tell everyone because you're awesome. (Urban Dictionary)On the other hand, the heart of the writer may be quite pure, don't you think? They only want to proclaim the situation which is causing them happiness. They may not be bragging at all. And still it sparks status envy.
Maybe the only real solutions lie within the receiver. Where are our hearts? Where are we finding joy, purpose, and acceptance? Do we see our friends as competitors, or companions? If we're healthy and mature, maybe this wouldn't be a problem, at least not very often.
Perhaps we could reduce status envy by not logging on when we're feeling sorry for ourselves, are particularly vulnerable, etc. Hmmmm... but since social networking seems so mindless and addictive, perhaps that’s just when we’re most likely to do it.
What do you think?
5 comments:
I heard someone teach on the subject of "mirrors." Now this may only apply to people trying to follow Jesus, but I don't know. The teaching says that every hassle and annoyance that we receive from someone is God holding a mirror up to show us something we need to deal with. Practically, I hate this. I mean, really, I have that much to deal with? But I think they may be on to something. At least it helps me when some of those feelings start to rise.
(Looking over this, I think it may only tangentially relate to your post, but I do so like to use the word "tangentially.")
I definitely think it's more the reader's problem if they get jealous... If someone else is having a good day when we're having a bad one, or if they're experiencing something we've always wanted to (I had a facebook friend recently say she'd been swimming with dolphins!) we always have the option of being happy for them rather than giving in to the green-eyed monster.
I think friends should always be more companions than competitors. We all have different personalities, skills and gifts and therefore God designs our individual lives to suit his own purposes for us. If I am not in a position today to go swimming with dolphins, then that is because God has something better for me right here, right now - even if it doesn't always feel as nice!
I think you're right about the mirrors. Every negative emotion - anger, resentment, contempt - invites such reflection. What is it in me that brings such a response?
And (tangentially), nice word use ;-)
FC - true, we cannot take the lion's share of the responsibility for someone else's reaction, especially in this area of jealousy. Nor, it follows, cast a big measure of blame on the person to whom we are responding with such jealousy.
I posted to Twitter about my vacation - but only after it was over.
I think that's fair.
"I had a good time, but now we're equal in the 'both-being-in-normal-life' mode."
ahem. i KNOW you are jealous about all my filthy back breaking labor in 100-year-old-buildings, inhaling the dust of ages and vacuuming bug infested rugs and hauling around decaying leather arm chairs. just take a deep breath and try to carry on!
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